(As reported by the roaming reporter, Rebecca Mistworth.)
How many licks 'til the Paladin is dead?
Fall is here. The crisp air reminds us that Summer is fading and Winter is at our heels. I have to say that I love this time of year. I love the golden red of the leaves, coolness of the evenings yet warm days, but most of all, I look forward to the Waterdeep Carnival.
The Waterdeep Carnival is an annual show of Waterdeep's finest entertainment talent. From the greatest jugglers to the sword eaters, kids of all ages are sure to be entertained. Though the official Carnival is still a month away, we at the Waterdeep Waggler are privy to a private audition of a small, entertaining troupe called the Paladin's Palatines.
I am sure that all of you have been following our coverage of this troupe of misfits (if not, come by our offices for back issues). However, this time they seem to have exceeded even our viewing pleasure. Although I am unsure of the title of their latest act, I believe it is called "How many licks 'til the Paladin is dead." That's right. In this act, they actually smother a group member in a thick blanket of Mimic skin and beat until dead. It sounds like a morbid recipe for entertainment, but I assure you all ends well. The first victim, uh, volunteer was our Paladin, the Lady V'tar. It seemed like a full 10 minutes went by while the other members cast spells, threw battle darts, and otherwise hacked away at the powerless Paladin until she could take no more and collapsed. Fortunately for her, she was accompanied by a good, but beltless, healer of Azuth that restored her to peak condition.
I guess that having a Paladin of Tyr whacked upon just didn't seem right. So, on to Act Two. Replace Paladin with a shifty "Acquisition Specialist" and repeat performance. Ah....much more entertaining. No more sympathic moans from the audience - just pure, unadulterated, bashing of the not-so-innocent. This time, however, increase the violence with more powerful and flashy spells. Ah ha! Do I hear an applause? Nope. That was the death of a friend. Oh well, enter stage left of the Azuthian priest. *Mumbo* *Jumbo* Ta da! Good as new.
With entertainment like this, I'm afraid to sleep at night. What will the encore be? Well, stay tuned. I'm here to tell all. 'Til next time, ta ta!
Justice, ah, sweet justice. During the scrying that revealed the above, none other than the prosecutor from the Church of Tyr dropped by to issue further charges. Since he saw the whole event as described above, he can now be called as a witness in our favor! Needless to say, another prosecutor will have to be assigned. Our lawyer is moving for a dismissal of all charges based upon the verbal account from our new witness. Oh, how the wheels of justice turn.